Â§hria's Spot

Just Blow on it

Things are working well. Most things anyway. My desk is very nice again, thanks to the thing that works the best. My boy toy is turning out to be quite handy in so many ways. A bit of a handful at times but very pleasant to hang with. Good kisser too.

Looks like I'll be trading in my room-mate for a boyfriend. Turns out that Shaun is actually interested in me. Go figure, life is full of surprises and some of them are really, awesomely cool.

We even starting composing a song together.

I came in the Sault to visit my girl
Ended up with an oboe
The size of a sex-blister on my elbow

Just blow on it babe
Blow on it babe
That'll work

My man came in the Sault to visit
Ended up with a screw-oo
Underneath a honkin' huge desk that is blue

Just blow on it babe
Blow on it babe
That'll work

Okay, maybe it needs a little work but that's what we have so far. Better not hear anyone singing it, either! And maybe I better not give up my day job, either.

Pictures coming soon to a blog near you. Some may even involve oboes, sex-blisters and screwing under desks...

Tony missed his calling

Today a few of us media peeps headed up to the hills around Gros Cap for a look at some important guys looking at some important stuff.

As usual, it was me and some guys hanging out. It was cool. Tony Tagliabracci from Shaw (who should have been a comedian) was very funny and cracked us up while we waited for Minister of Natural Resources David Ramsay to arrive with Sault MPP David Orazietti, Algoma Manitoulin MPP Mike Brown, as well as Brookfield Power's General Manager Jim Deluzio and VP of Ontario Operations Andy McPhee. They were coming up to take a tour of the Prince Wind Farm and see how things are shaping up on the hills.

Shaping up they are, all right. Deluzio says that they will have 128 wind turbines up and generating enough electricity to power at least 40,000 homes - more than there are in the Sault. Very cool.

Minister Ramsay also said that this farm and others like it will let Ontario soon shut down all it's coal fired generating stations because there is no way to cleanly generate electricity from burnt coal. I'm not holding my breath, though. Show me, don't tell me! Or, at the very least, tell me when and how.

It was very interesting at the wind farm, though, and I hope to get back there for more pictures soon. I may even be able to wrangle my way up into a wind turbine. Bill (on the left) says it takes about 20 minutes to walk up even if you are in good shape and used to it. He says there are the equivalent to at least six flights of stairs to climb. It would be worth it to shoot some footage and stills of Lake Superior, the Sault and the surrounding hills from that height without the noise and motion of a helicopter. A once in a lifetime opportunity! Maybe one Tourism Sault Ste. Marie should be looking at... hmmm, I wonder if I can find John Febbraro's card?

BTW, it looks like Christine is still here. Alex is smiling like I've never seen him smile before! LOL

Nice guy tough spot

Do you ever meet someone you just want to tell things to? I mean things that have been bubbling around in the bottom of your soul for decades that are kept all corked and sealed for fear of some sort of emotional eruption and lava flow. Things like, "that man coming out of Riverview Centre right now raped me at gunpoint 22 years ago on February 19 in a house on Biggings Avenue."

Can I have a retractable sentence now? Nope, too late. I guess I just wanted to tell someone. I just wanted to be mad about it for a while and say this guy did something wrong. I'll be okay to let it all go away once more soon. I'll be okay enough until I see him walking down the street or through the mall or something, anyway. Then I'll be upset again for a while before I'm okay. Thus is the sightless roller coaster of my life.

I told the right guy though. He will be good with it and he will be there for me if I ever need him. He is a good guy in an uncomfortable spot who knows how to handle it just fine. I know this because he shared some deeply personal stuff about himself as well and we are on equal footing. I know I can trust him and that's a very big deal for me.

This whole trust thing is a tall order after trust I have given has been so deeply and injuriously betrayed so often. I think my judgment is improving.

Nova helps out

Nova has made a few new friends. Howard Hampton even yelled hello to her from the car they were riding in the parade on Saturday but that's another story.

On Monday, July 10, Hampton came to town and held a media conference at Martin's office. It was Dana's first day of science camp at Algoma U and not a chance we would want her to miss a minute of that, even if we could drag her away to babysit Nova while I covered the Hampton thing. Ami was still asleep and not feeling well enough to chase after Nova and Nova's dad was no where to be found. Grama and Papa were out of town and so was the kid across the street. You get the picture.

It came down to bring the kid to work or not work.

Nova packed up her stuffed snake and alphabet book and while I grabbed my camera, notebook and digital recorder.

It all went off with barely a hitch. The only problem was that Nova sort of stole the show, and especially Hampton's heart. I think he spent more time talking to her than to us.

Nova also got some excellent shots of the other media in the room and asked that we invite the nice camera girls (Jennifer Keating and Sonja Denton from MCTV) over for dinner and tell them to bring their very cool camera so Nova can have a go at it.

Lessons

Love I gave to you
Should have been asked for
Should have been earned

Love I gave to you
Should have been deserved
Should have been returned

It was none of these
And it was so much more
What are the lessons learned

Love freely given
Is freely rejected
This is a lesson learned

All to often
Best just isn't enough

Love that grew for you
Took me into darkness
Left me bleeding and burned

Love that grew for you
Was truth disregarded
Tip to toe fully spurned

I hurt through the soles
Of my feet where I walked
In a dark world that yearned

Love freely given
Is freely rejected
This is a lesson learned

All too often
Best just isn't enough

Could someone please remind me of why I blog?

For now, how about I just catch up on what has happened.

Item one: We adopted a cat. Then we lost the cat and everyone (pretty much) freaked. The cat suddenly re-appeared about a day and a half later. His name is Milkshakes (from The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy). Milkshakes and Niemo are friends now. Milkshakes and Cooper were friends since the second they sniffed butts. Everyone is happy - relatively speaking.

Item two: I've been working a lot. Not enough but a lot. I was supposed to go visit Shaun but chickened out.

I am a coward. I have no heart. I suck rocks at this relationhsip crap. I just want to work more and think less.

What could I tell him anyway? - 'Er, sorry dude. I did my best to get there but couldn't? Will you come here? You'll have to come here on the bus though. I don't want to tempt fate by saying I am going to Mississauga to see you.'

Item three: Work is interesting. My peers respect me and treat me as an equal (see photo of Alex Mihailovich raising his middle finger as a sign of respect and Paul Norbo respectfully saluting me as he motors off in a boat I couldn't get on).

I like that they feel like they can tell me to fuck off. I feel respected, not protected. Respected is safer than protected. It can be done from a distance without intimacy and it's much more amusing than actual and messy relationships.

Item four: I joined GoodLife fitness. It's my last shot at finding some pride in the way I look (unless I suddenly come into a shit-load of cash and can get all the plastic surgery I've been dreaming of). I have trouble even typing the words 'pride in the way I look'. There is no way I'll ever be able to say them, let alone feel them.

Above and beyond the quest for a feeling of beauty, appeal or attractiveness is the feeling of power.

I love to feel like I can do something.

Another 10 pounds on the stack, just one more rep. I like that feeling a lot. I can tune out the fact that there are people in the gym for that.

My trainer is cool. He seems to know when to be amused and when to not let me get away with it. I like working with Joey.

Item five: I did something else to look after myself that was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. It's hard but I'm learning a lot so it's cool.

What I've learned so far: I may have some self-esteem and trust issues.

Okay, if anyone actually reads this, I'm sorry about that. I maybe should have put a little warning before that paragraph saying don't take a sip of your coffee yet because you are about to snort it out your nose.

I may have a hard time with trusting people or feeling good about myself but I sure have a good time with cynicism and sarcasm.

I also found some pictures of me from a couple years ago and thought I'd share one. Although I generally hate pictures of me, Jim did okay with them. You can hardly even see it's me!

Question of the day: What is the difference between a career and a vocation? You tell me the answer.

Answer of the day: A hole. You tell me the question.