For now, how about I just catch up on what has happened.Item one: We adopted a cat. Then we lost the cat and everyone (pretty much) freaked. The cat suddenly re-appeared about a day and a half later. His name is Milkshakes (from The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy). Milkshakes and Niemo are friends now. Milkshakes and Cooper were friends since the second they sniffed butts. Everyone is happy - relatively speaking.
Item two: I've been working a lot. Not enough but a lot. I was supposed to go visit Shaun but chickened out.
I am a coward. I have no heart. I suck rocks at this relationhsip crap. I just want to work more and think less.
What could I tell him anyway? - 'Er, sorry dude. I did my best to get there but couldn't? Will you come here? You'll have to come here on the bus though. I don't want to tempt fate by saying I am going to Mississauga to see you.'
Item three: Work is interesting. My peers respect me and treat me as an equal (see photo of Alex Mihailovich raising his middle finger as a sign of respect and Paul Norbo respectfully saluting me as he motors off in a boat I couldn't get on).I like that they feel like they can tell me to fuck off. I feel respected, not protected. Respected is safer than protected. It can be done from a distance without intimacy and it's much more amusing than actual and messy relationships.
Item four: I joined GoodLife fitness. It's my last shot at finding some pride in the way I look (unless I suddenly come into a shit-load of cash and can get all the plastic surgery I've been dreaming of). I have trouble even typing the words 'pride in the way I look'. There is no way I'll ever be able to say them, let alone feel them.
Above and beyond the quest for a feeling of beauty, appeal or attractiveness is the feeling of power.
I love to feel like I can do something.
Another 10 pounds on the stack, just one more rep. I like that feeling a lot. I can tune out the fact that there are people in the gym for that.
My trainer is cool. He seems to know when to be amused and when to not let me get away with it. I like working with Joey.
Item five: I did something else to look after myself that was the hardest thing I've ever had to do. It's hard but I'm learning a lot so it's cool.
What I've learned so far: I may have some self-esteem and trust issues.
Okay, if anyone actually reads this, I'm sorry about that. I maybe should have put a little warning before that paragraph saying don't take a sip of your coffee yet because you are about to snort it out your nose.
I may have a hard time with trusting people or feeling good about myself but I sure have a good time with cynicism and sarcasm.I also found some pictures of me from a couple years ago and thought I'd share one. Although I generally hate pictures of me, Jim did okay with them. You can hardly even see it's me!
Question of the day: What is the difference between a career and a vocation? You tell me the answer.
Answer of the day: A hole. You tell me the question.
Item two, you may have chickened out, and that was your choice. There's neither need nor justification in slapping all those labels on yourself, however. You made a choice. You have regrets about it. That's all that means, IMNSHO.
Item three: WTG!
Item four: Good luck with the gym. Allow yourself to have off days with that. It's okay to suck at something once in a while. I'm getting quite used to it at the new job.
Item 5: Glad I wasn't drinking when I read that admission. I hate that picture of you for the same reason you love it. We've discussed this enough for now, so no further comment from me at this time.
Answer to Question of the day: a career is uncontrolled downhill progress, usually in a runaway conveyance, while a vocation is a calling that demands the best we can give it. One takes us downward; the other makes us lift ourselves.
Finally, the question to the answer: What is in the middle of Bear's breakfast donut?