Part of the Samhain ritual involved a moment of silence to remember and honour our beloved dead. A moment wasn't long enough for all the people and animals that have passed through my life and left an impression on me.
Family:
Grandfathers Cecil Behnke and Mike (Mervin) Freeman
Grandmothers Hildegard Behnke (ni Zimmerman) and Eileen Freeman (ni Buyers)
Sister-in-law Ann Bird (ni Martin) -- dead at the age of 34, leaving 7 children.
Nephew Jerry Dominic Martin-Bird -- dead after just seven hours of life.
Seven of my own unborn children who were no less beloved than they would have been if their eyes had seen the light of day.
Friends:
Phillip Rainbird -- my twin in all but blood died at the age of 34.
Talon David St. Pierre -- child of two of my close friends died at the age of 27 months.
Camellia Sutherland -- mentor, teacher and medicine woman, died at the age of 73
Anne Marie Sutherland
Minnowasey
Margaret (Black Margaret) Wesley
Walter Wesley
Louis Woods
Sean Maidens
Animals:
Damien, cat
Clutzy, cat
Sigel, dog
Taffy, dog
Cujo, dog
Pooh, cat
Dabber, cat
Bingo, cat
Brandon Lee, raven
Kissy Bugs, cat
Freddy Fender, finch
Farah Faucet, finch
Skippy, dog
I didn't put Bob the pigeon on this list because I'm pretty sure he's still hanging around
And of course there are the relationships to mourn. Friends whose lives I've faded away from, who have walked out of my life, or who I have just lost touch with. And the family members I never really knew. The childhood of my son is dearly missed, although we are doing okay as friends now that he is an adult. Then there is the brother I didn't even know I had until I was 30.
Now is the time to consider what these relationships have taught and what they have made of me. As is appropriate to the time, I also consider the lessons I teach others, either inadvertently or consciously.
When I'm gone, what will I be remembered for? What do people think of me now? Is it close to what I want it to be? How close to my goals am I? Am I progressing through life, just reacting to my surroundings or just standing still and waiting for life to happen?
What are the circles I want to put myself in the centre of and how close to that am I? What do I want to bring more of into my life and what do I want to diminish?
A friend said to look to my dreams for answers to these and many other questions. This is what I hope to do now... Maybe, for a change, I will sleep a full night.