I can't reach Michele again. My skin is still trying to take one full step to the left without me every time the phone rings.

This entry is about New Year's resolutions, though.

This year, I wasn't going to make any because I never keep them, but instead decided to get extreme. Sort of an 'aim high so you don't shoot yourself in the foot' idea.

Resolutions for 2006

Relationships

- I will focus my attention on my children completely when they are home and save work for when they are gone.

- I will abandon all hope of ever being loved by a man or finding a partner in this lifetime. The second pillow stays in the basement.

- I will renew and cultivate my friendships that I have let languish while taking time to pursue a man who will never want me.

Home

- I will clean my whole house every night before going to sleep – walls, floors, fish, everything -- even though no one is coming over.

- I will paint my house this spring -- properly. Some idiot put latex over oil paint in here.

- I will build enough bookshelves to hold ALL my books.

- I will clean out all the closets, giving away all the clothes that don't fit, fixing the ones that are damaged and ditching every stitch of colour in my wardrobe. All black clothes for me. Only black for this lumpy body.

- I will conquer clutter for once and for all. No more damaged CDs kept for some-day projects. No more stacks of papers waiting to be filed. No more boxes of old bathroom stuff in the basement.

- I will shovel the driveway to the pavement all winter, every day.

- I will cut the grass to a perfect four inch length, every day all summer.

- I will prune the lilac and rowan trees in my front yard this spring and plant a vegetable garden.

Diet and exercise

- No food shall pass my lips (one way) until I am a size two.

- I will work out 40 minutes every day, including Pilates, aerobics and anything that makes me fall on my face with exhaustion until I am a size two and beyond (maintenance).

- I will save every penny, nickel and dime until I have enough money for a boob and belly job.

- I will then save the rest of my money for a face lift.

- I will make my body what it needs to be so that, maybe, I can love it enough to be loved.

Well, I think that about finishes both feet off. They seem to be shot full of holes before I even get started on 2006.

Now I think I'll go look for something positive to write in my blog and try calling Michele again.

One thing for sure, with all this positive energy emanating from me, it's no surprise that men are just lining up around the corner to spend time with me.

Okay, enough wallowing in self-pity. Time to take hold of life and make some serious and positive changes. Starting tomorrow!

Happy and safe New Year to everyone!