Â§hria's Spot

Know any good plastic surgeons who give credit?

The really nice general practitioner who brought my second child into the world through an emergency c-section (he was certified for emergency surgery) was kind enough to save our lives 11 years ago but, I being in full labour, made it quite a challenge to cut a straight line and was left in a bit of a mess.

For about a decade I've been trying to convince various doctors and my spouse that it should be tidied up. No such luck.

As far as the spouse was concerned, hockey tournaments were much more important than my self-image. He wanted the money I would have spent on plastic surgery (OHIP may cover some, but definitely not all) for his hockey and pool expenses, even though I earned as much money as him. Now that I am single, there is no spouse to stand in my way.

As far as the doctors are concerned, I'm old and should just accept my ugly body as it is. To fix this mess would be a waste of resources and there are many more important people in the world who actually need to look good.

I asked my doctor again, yesterday, if he would refer me to a plastic surgeon to fix the scars on my belly and get rid of these revolting aliens on my chest. For the third year in a row, he put me off.

On Monday, I'll be calling local plastic surgeons to see if I need a referral and if it costs anything for a consultation. Then I'll be saving my pennies from the raise I got at work to buy me a new body as soon as I can.

I mean, why the hell not!? Why shouldn't I do something to be happy about the way I look!? I've dieted myself into a size five and anorexia years ago and still had huge ugly, saggy boobs. I couldn't even find a flat stomach under all this skin and fat at 120 lbs.

It's evident that diet and exercise alone aren't going to do the job. Joining a gym is out of the question. They cost even more than plastic surgery, if you want to actually talk to someone who knows what they are doing. Besides, there is no way I could suffer the humiliation of walking around a gym in a work out clothes. I need to hide myself away in a dark corner until I am fit to look at.

New plan: intesify the diet and exercise while saving money for plastic surgery. Focus on making my body what it should have been all these years like I would have focused on making a man happy if one had ever chosen to love me.

I just wish I could have done that in time for the trip to Mexico. That is going to be absolute living hell. It will be nice to see my parents and to watch my kids have fun with them, but that's where I'll be, hiding and watching. There is only one place I am more uncomfortable than a gym: the beach. As a matter of fact, as the day gets closer, I am desperately searching for excuses not to go.