Happy New Year

I spent the start of 2006 driving in my car.

With a deeply empowered feeling of self-reliance and independence, I split the scene at Loplop about 11:30 just to make sure I wouldn't be there for the humiliating 'kiss everyone around you' thing at midnight. I knew about five people in the bar and didn't want to kiss any of them.

So, next year I am staying home. I am keeping my kids at home and staying there with them, no matter how much better their father and his girlfriend are at that whole family thing.

I let them stay at their dad's this year so I could go out to work. The assignment was to visit a few bars and get pictures of people having fun on New Years Eve. The Downbeat was closed. I wasn't going to go into the River Rock or Foggy Notions, especially not alone. That left Loplop and Docks. Dave said he was going to do Docks so I checked out Loplop, although I was told not to come back with only pictures of that place because I had just done a story from there a few days ago.

But, that's where I found Robbie, the cartoonist. At least I got a story for later out of the evening so it wasn't a total waste of makeup. I'll use the photo and interview as an advancer for his upcoming book launch.

I also decided to take a picture of myself because I am not likely to be wearing a skirt or a belt again any time soon, and definitely NOT with white print on it. The picture, the skirt and going out were all HUGE mistakes.

Holy ugly woman!

This will be my before picture and there won't be any more pictures of me until I've lost at least 30 pounds and hacked off those freakishly huge boobs. Nope, sorry Les, no pictures of me in Mexico and most certainly no pictures of me in a bathing suit. I really can't believe how disgustingly HUGE I am and why do my friends try to tell me otherwise? Do they not realize I own a mirror?

I could afford to be fat if I were some sort of cute, smart, clever, talented or something but I'm none of those. What I am is grotesquely matronly. Ugh, it's true. Curse of all curses. I am matronly. Fat, dull, ordinary and uninteresting.

That's it for this stupid blog, too.

When I actually have something worth writing, I will. Until then I'll be starving myself and working out.
Posted on Sunday, January 01, 2006 -- 5 comments
Posted by Anonymous Anonymous, at Sun Jan 01, 04:30:00 p.m.  
*hugs* Happy New Year to you and your feet.

~Jen
Posted by Anonymous Anonymous, at Tue Jan 03, 08:38:00 a.m.  
I praise you for wanting to drop weight in the New Year! (but you are definitely not FAT!)

This comes from someone you have never met, so you can't tell me off :)
Posted by Blogger §hria, at Tue Jan 03, 10:07:00 a.m.  
Thanks Jes but after fighting with my weight problem most of my life, I've become fairly good at hiding it. What I'm saying is that I am just one of those women who looks so WAY better with her clothes on and even then I'm not attractive.

My weight war is chronic and acute.

Since that last post, I've eaten two bagels with low fat peanut butter, two plums, a can of tuna and a plain fillet of sole. I've worked out at least 60 minutes each day (including today) and drank two litres of water each day (well, only three glasses so far today). I lost a whopping four pounds.

If I look at food I get fatter.

My only hope is surgery. The plan is to save my money (mostly by not eating) and work out until I can get the operations I need. If I get all the fat left on my body sucked off, then hopefully I won't explode when I have to start eating again.
Posted by Anonymous Anonymous, at Thu Jan 05, 03:48:00 p.m.  
Hey just think about it, a pound of butter is a pound, and that's a lot of butter...so 4 pounds is good! That's a LOT of weight, so don't say "just 4 pounds" because it will continue to add up.

When I went away to University I weighed 118 lbs and 6 months later came home at 150. I didn't lose all the weight because I give up easily in the exercise department. Drinking water helps big time...just keep it up and you'll do great!
Posted by Anonymous Anonymous, at Tue Mar 14, 11:45:00 p.m.  
Speaking as a certifiable "guy" as well as speaking as a friend of long years, if not of intense sharing, I hope you will believe me when I tell you that your dislike of your looks, your weight and your breasts is not universal. I'm leaving this comment at that, for reasons I am sure you know.
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