Â§hria's Spot

Burning Down the House

Some people say that dreams of a house represent dreams of the self. They say that the rooms in the house symbolize different aspects of the personality.

I would go further and say that my basement, in real life, represents my self-image, my body-image.

The basement of my house is the most incredibly horrible mess anyone has ever seen. There are unpacked boxes from when I moved to my parents place in 2001. I don't want to look in these boxes so they stay closed and stacked to the side. There are clothes that I am hanging on to because I may someday be that size again. There are snowshoes I'll never use stacked in a corner and dirty laundry all over the floor. Kids' toys have escaped from the boxes I piled them in when cleaning the girls' rooms and remnants of old broken kitchen toys are piled high on the shelves. A huge pile of boxes of stuff to give away is stacked near the bottom of the stairs and all the off season decorations clutter a corner.

My basement, my body image, is a cluttered maze of unwanted items and emotional land-mines.

So I just don't go down there unless I really really have to. Avoiding it is much easier than dealing with it.

The problem is, that's where the washer and dryer are. I don't do laundry very often. As a matter of fact, I usually decide which black shirt and pants I will wear today based on which ones smell best and have the least dog fur on them. Eventually, though, I do have to make the dreaded trip down there to wash mine and the kids' clothes.

It's truly disgusting to look at all the stuff I have to deal with so I just get the laundry done as fast as I can and get the hell out of there.

There's another problem though.

If the basement symbolizes my body image, then the dog could symbolize my sexuality. He gets fed in the basement. It's the only place to keep his food and bowls. On realistic terms, I usually make my kids feed him because I just can't bring myself to go down there and wait for him to eat. That is the most horrible feeling of all. Having to stay in the body-image long enough to satisfy an appetite. So, does anyone want a nice dog that is a little malnourished? Okay, is in danger of starving to death (the symbolic dog, not the real one).

One solution a friend of mine suggested is to just toss a match in the basement and burn it down. Unfortunately that would probably take the whole house with it. If it were only me involved, it wouldn't be a problem. Not much of a loss at all. But it isn't only me involved. Where would my kids live if my house was gone?

Hmmm, I say as I play with a lighter. Anyone want a couple of really nice kids and a starving dog?