Â§hria's Spot

I am the night

At the doctor's office I saw the sweetest thing the other day.

This couple that must be in their 80s easily, so frail and fragile looking, both of them, were at the doctor's office together. When the receptionist called the woman in, she helped the man to stand so he could help her stand and he held her purse while she went in to see the doctor. When she came out they helped each other with their coats and leaned on each other for support as they left. They were like a well oiled machine, needing no words and just doing what needs to be done for one another.

I thought about what my life will be like.

Will I always be able to sharpen my own knives? Will I always be able to look after myself and do what needs to be done for myself? What will happen to me if I need help with something?

Sometimes alone for the rest of my life can be a little frightening but it still won't make me eat cream cheese Danish when I want maple pecan.

So I guess all that's left now, since someone else ate the last maple pecan Danish, is to bake my own cookies and hope that I die before I can no longer look after myself.

A song I've been listening to goes something like this

Pearls that swim the rift of me
Long and weary my road has been
I was lost in the cities
Alone in the hills
No sorrow I feel
For anything I feel yeah

I am not your rolling wheels
I am a highway
I am not your carpet ride
I am the sky

Friends and liars
Don't wait for me
Cause I'll get on
All by myself
Put millions of miles
Under my heels
And still too close to you
I feel

I am not your rolling wheels
I am the highway
I am not your carpet ride
I am the sky
I am not your blowing wind
I am the sky here
I am not your autumn moon
I am the night
The night

I am not your rolling wheels
I am the highway
I am not your carpet rag
I am the sky
I am not your blowing wind
I am the lightening
I am not your autumn moon
I am the night

It's by Audioslave and it's called I am the Highway. I like to listen to it while I drive.

Oops, phone call, be right back. Friend on the phone. Promises made.

Notes to self:

1. Eat. Eat food. Eat food now.
2. Get off computer and clean house.
3. Make the calls. You promised. I am NOT going to let yo weasel out this time.

Okay, gone to eat some food and make some calls.