Uncomplications

This is it. Tomorrow is *ARGH* Valentine's Day.


Oh Lord how I HATE that day. Christmas doesn't even come close as the most reviled of holidays.


But this year, I'm going to take a different approach.
Nova is seriously into the whole idea of Valentine's Day. She begged me to buy and put up decorations, put out candy and even get her some new pink clothes to wear for the party at school.

How I ever ended up mother to the girliest girlie girl in the world I do not know but pink does look nice beside black, anyway, so I'm good with it.


Actually, I had none of those usual feelings of dread over being one of maybe five people I know who will be single on Valentines Day this year. Especially after my last horrifyingly wrong attempt at a 'relationship', it's a relief to be single with no possibilities for a relationship anywhere on the horizon.


This year for Valentine's Day, I will celebrate the great relationship I have with my daughters. The deep, meaningful and fulfilling relationship I have with my job will also be celebrated. Hey, at least it doesn't snore, hog the covers or expect sex when it comes home smelling like Channel #5 at 3 a.m. after a 'hockey practice'.


Last week I paid someone $20 to plow my driveway very well. It was a man, but it could have been a woman driving the truck for all I care. I don't even know what the man looks like. All I have is a phone number, a first name and drop off location for the cash. Don't even need to talk to the man. Just put in a call and the driveway is done when I get home. Doesn't get any better than that.

The knife sharpener I bought a while ago cost $14.95. The jar opener I picked up at the dollar store for, guess what, a dollar. If we really must talk about sex, there are some very interesting toys to be had for pretty cheap.

I need a man for what?


Valentine's Day? HA, bring it on! As a matter of fact, I believe I will just go out and buy myself some sexy lingerie to strut around the house in all by myself feeling pretty and uncomplicated.

This year the theme for Valentine's Day in my house will be uncomplicated.
A knife sharpener as a sex toy?

LOL

I definatly don't get out enough.
Hey, nice to hear from you again.

We are doing the Vagina Monologues at Algoma University on March 2, 3 and 4.

Rumour has it that we'll be having a Fantasia party at my place on the 5th as our cast party but I bet there's room for a few more gurlz who want to get out and find out about toys!

The really ironic thing about this year's V-monologues, I am doing "Because he Liked to Look at it." It's about a woman who learned to love herself as a result of a good experience with a man. LOL

Okay, it's not like I've NEVER had a good experience with a man. Admittedly I was actually very fond of sex with a man. However, the chance of that happening to me again is null and void.

So, I'm the vagina warrior defending men and can't let any of them anywhere near me. Irony never ceases to amuse me.

Btw, I added more pictures of Mexico to the post.
Arghhh! Next time you go down there YOU ARE TAKING ME WITH YOU! I'll only need a one-way ticket (like you'd get me back on the plane a second time... HA!)and you could just drop me off at that little cantina that Fred Asparagus served tequila in, in The Three Amigos. That Fred - he's my kinda bartender.

I shall telephone you later. This time I really mean it.
Les

Am I taking you to the Vagina Monologues at Algoma University, or to the Fantasia party at my place?

OH, you mean Mexico.

It's going to be a much colder day in hell than today and at least $10,000 worth of plastic surgery for me before I go back there again!

Next time, you go down there, take my kids and stay with my parents.

I'll stay here to shovel my driveway, sharpen my knives and play with my toys.
Copyright © 2006 Carol Martin.
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