When rage triumphs

A community came together in grief today.

Also, about 50 people came out for a memorial honouring Melody Burtis and her son Harley Baxter-Burtis who were kidnapped and brutally murdered on April 20.

After the event, some of Melody Burtis' friends told me they believe rage is what motivated Albert Ouimet to change the license plates on her car before breaking into her neighbour's house to steal a knife he intended to use in the planned abduction and murder of Burtis and her son.

Her friends said Melody was a very strong, positive and vibrant woman. They said she had gone through some hard times and been the victim of abuse in the past and would have had nothing to do with Ouimet if she had known about his violent past.

According to the Sault Star and other sources, Albert Ouimet was charged and convicted of abducting, forcibly confining and assaulting his ex-girlfriend when she dumped him about a year before this. He was on probation and was ordered to abstain from alcohol and keep the peace because of that incident.

Ouimet was attracted to vivacious, slender and beautiful Melody Burtis and they went out a couple times but Burtis wasn't interested in him. Just like she had told several other grieving would-be suitors who were at her memorial, she told Ouimet that she wasn't interested in having a boyfriend, that there were things she needed to do for herself before she could get involved again.

That enraged him and he began to hate her. Melody's best friend said that Ouimet began to stalk Melody after she told him there couldn't be anything romantic between them. But Melody didn't take it seriously and didn't call the police.

I'm having trouble not personalizing this story. A lot of my experiences with men have been very negative.

Melody's friend said that it was like Melody walked around with saying 'whackos hit here and do as you please.' They said that Melody would have done anything to protect her children and that she was very close to regaining custody of her daughter who is just over a year younger than Harley. But they said that Melody had very low self-esteem and was like a moving target for abusive men.

This is not to say that all the men who were grieving the loss of Melody and her son today were abusive but at least one of them was. It is also not to say that all women with low self-esteem are targets for whackos.

What I am saying is that the rage that I have seen on the faces of some men who have said they loved me made me sure that even one bad apple CAN spoil the bunch. At least for me anyway, and certainly for Melody.

Although I had always hoped that I would some day find a partner I could be happy with, I have come to accept that I will not and plan for a life without a significant other. Stories such as the one about Melody Burtis and her son Harley Baxter-Burtis reinforce that ideal and sadden me greatly.

I feel deeply for Harley and Melody's friends and family. There are many who loved them dearly for their joy of life and beautiful dispositions.

The murders make me very tired. I want to tune out and go away for a while. I want to be blissfully ignorant and enjoy time playing with my daughters. I want to think about nothing more than what kind of cake to bake for Dana's birthday next week or what to serve for dinner when my parents get home from Mexico in a few days. I want to see the inside of my eyelids for about 18 hours and I want to drink a bottle of vodka.

But, on a more positive note, I also liked Melody's friends and hope to see them again some day, but under happier circumstances. I just hope they were okay with what I wrote in the story. They shared much more with me than I reported and I felt like we really hit it off so I didn't want to betray any information they may have come to regret sharing later. It was hard to tell what would be okay and what would not so I hope I didn't hurt them any more than they have been hurt already.

As the father of Melody's children said, "The truth WILL come out."

Maybe my truth is that my ability to become involved with and maintain a healty relationship with a man as a partner was damaged beyond repair long ago but I can still have a happy and fulfilling life with family, friends and work.

After all, why would I let some man interfere with the wonderful relationship I have with my job?
Posted on Friday, May 05, 2006 -- 11 comments
Posted by Anonymous Anonymous, at Sun May 07, 06:59:00 p.m.  
"The murders make me tired"

My thoughts have been put into words. I would like to slip into another dimension, one that doesn't include this horrific crime.

Thank you for writing about this story. It's so very important.
Posted by Blogger §hria, at Sun May 14, 11:13:00 p.m.  
This story has been very important to me on so many levels.

I miss my son. I wish we could have all been a family together when he was growing up and I wish that I could be innocent enough to believe in love.

Thank you for your comment. It's better to know I am not alone.
Posted by Anonymous Anonymous, at Wed May 17, 11:10:00 a.m.  
This is a very important story to me also, thank you for being so respectful, there are a lot of people out here that care a great deal for Melody and Harley, this affects many lives everyday, people can't stop thinking about it and a lot of children have lost a little bit of their spirit in the past month, how do you just move on, WE MISS THEM SOO MUCH!
Posted by Anonymous Anonymous, at Fri May 19, 01:32:00 a.m.  
Melody had two other children - a son(20) and a daughter (17). These children are not mentioned. I guess it's because they grew up in foster care... the products of an abusive relationship. The were a part of Melody's life, as they were present at her hometown memorial. It saddened me to know that they were excluded in Ontario - like they didn't matter...no tears for their loss of mother and half-brother or chance to unite with their 'true' family. I pause to wonder if imagine they'll ever know li'l Hayley. Just a thought...
Posted by Blogger §hria, at Fri May 19, 11:00:00 a.m.  
Dear old friend,

Thank you so much for telling me about Melody's other two children. I have been waiting forever to hear about them in some capacity that I could respond to without breaking a trust.

Yes, I knew about them in an unofficial capacity but couldn't write about them here or in any stories because no one came forward to tell me about them and I had no avenue to find out about them. In a news story I can't use information from an anonymous source unless I can back it up from a few other sources but here I can respond to a public anonymous source.

I would like to respond with a story.

My sister-in-law and I spent many hours that eventually added up to years looking for our lost children together. She lost four in foster care. They were taken away and never heard from again, even when she straightened out her life and became the person she was trying to be. I lost custody of my son to his father when he was born and his father kept him hidden from me.

Ann and I both missed our lost children very much and she died missing hers. At the age of 34 Ann died of the flu, leaving behind seven children ranging in age from seven months to 17 years.

My heart broke so completely the day I met her lost children. They came home for her funeral. It took her death to reunite her children when nothing she did in life was enough.

Now, like Melody's lost children, they walk through life with no chance of ever knowing their mother.

Truly, there is NO justice in this world.
Posted by Anonymous Anonymous, at Fri May 19, 12:57:00 p.m.  
The two other children were mentioned at the hour of morning for Melody and Harley,
Posted by Anonymous Anonymous, at Sun Jul 09, 03:39:00 p.m.  
I am so very sorry for the torture that melody and her son had to endure,but I would like you to think just once of what the "ex girlfriend" is having to deal with The facts you recieved from the sault star are only partial truths , albert ouimet recived 6 months in jail for the beating and confinement he put that girl though and that happened in 2001. Since then he has been charged 3 other time for harrassing that same girl. Right up to the day he was put in jail Albert harrassed that girl This crime could have been avoided if the laws were stiffer on abusive men,he should not have been walking the street
Posted by Anonymous Anonymous, at Sun Jul 09, 04:01:00 p.m.  
I think it is terrible that somebody has to die before they take men like that off the street . Did you know that the police came to that girls house at 6 am to see if she was alive ! I'm sorry but I'm tired of all you people making the "ex girlfriend " an object , I am a person with feelings, believe me I"ve lived in a world of hell ,afraid to leave my house and always watching over my back. Now I walk into places and people that were aware of my involvement with Albert whisper and stare at me . ( oh thats the girl that was with that murderer ) I wish you wouldn't put me in your articles it's only hurting me
Posted by Blogger §hria, at Sun Jul 09, 05:33:00 p.m.  
I'm so sorry for what you have and are suffering.

Speaking for myself, I can only say that I did not use your name and would not even if I knew it. I would avoid revictimizing a victim as much as I possibly can. But your story, even if you remain nameless, is part of the Burtis story and an important part of what will become of Albert Ouimet. Only by telling something of what he did to you can we as a society ensure that we take appropriate steps to protect ourselves from him.

We can do that while still honouring your privacy and respecting you, though. I believe that no one will disrespect you for being a victim. Having lived some of what you have experienced, I can only say that what seems very difficult now can and will become easier later, with some work.

My guess is that he is about to appear in court soon and you may be called by the prosecutor to witness that he planned his attack on Melody and Harley in advance. This means you will have to relive that experience so I strongly suggest that you set up support right now.

If I had gone for help earlier, rather than later, my life would be so much better so much sooner. I thought it was over when I got out with my kids but it isn't over. Even long after the abuse ends, its effects linger.

If you want to talk more about this, email me privately.

shria@shaw.ca

My heart is with you.
Posted by Anonymous Anonymous, at Fri Jul 28, 02:14:00 p.m.  
victomized - you are not alone, I think there are more women than you think out here that can sympathize with you. This horrible crime has definitely changed my thoughts about life
Posted by Anonymous Anonymous, at Sat Apr 07, 03:27:00 p.m.  
I MISS MELODY she was a beautiful person. I remember being a part of her life while she was in and after her first abusive relationship and was happy after she was out of that one. Without saying my name i was a part of the family and was a part of her life before she left.I can't even believe that this happened. I just cant imagine. As for those that know Melody she was a mother and loved her first two more than anything - - I think that she was just lost . Life was not easy for her and i was very happy to hear that she was back on the right track - - but this loser got in her way for that i am angry - i don't understand why things go the way they do----life is cruel and unfair......I love you Mel - -- as for Harley no words can express - - i wished that you would have been a part of my life - - this is beyond words......wsv
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