Flaws and fractures

I feel like a diamond being ground down by the tools of a jeweler. Unfortunately, there are flaws that threaten to fracture under the pressure.

In regards to work, sometimes life is a dog’s breakfast but I am hungry for justice and that's why I rant and rage against authority. (Thanks Jason LOL).

In regards to my relationships, or one in particular, there is the smallest little voice in me that cries out, 'Run away while you still can!' Its evil twin shouts, 'Traitorous wench, you are giving up your independence and letting a MAN in. EWWW!'

I think about things like having my nails done and want to scream. That really and truly isn't who I am. I am a dirty-handed-doer. I am not a pampered-bungalow-bunny. I can NOT be a desperate housewife. I must keep my hands in the dirt. I must have reason to keep raging against authority. I must…

Oopsie.

Did anyone else hear that?

I swear I heard a little, tiny crack.

Really, it sounded like a crack in my cosmic egg.

I wonder where it will lead. Will I be brave and forge a new life as a partner of my own creation, or will I become what the bunny he seems to want? Then again, maybe I will take the easy way out and run screaming into the woods, longing for another safe, fantastic infatuation. After all, the fantastic infatuation sustained me in relative sanity for the past three years, didn't it? Didn't it!? DIDN'T IT!!!?

Oh my. Apparently I've found another crack.
Posted on Tuesday, August 29, 2006 -- 3 comments
Posted by Blogger Les Becker, at Tue Aug 29, 11:49:00 a.m.  
I knew you were cracked. I KNEW it!

Sorry, to make light of things, Shria - but don't we all (always) worry about exactly this? Well, maybe it's just me.

Go be what you want to be. Bring him with you. It'll be grand. Yes it will.
Posted by Blogger §hria, at Tue Aug 29, 12:07:00 p.m.  
Yes, I quite agree it will be a grand adventure. I'm just getting a bit of chilly toes because it matters to me. That's actually a good thing.

I would be much more worried about me if I weren't ever thinking twice about what I do. I just have to make sure I don't do stupid things out of fear.

I also think its cool that I can crack myself up like this! LOL
Posted by Anonymous Anonymous, at Wed Aug 30, 05:19:00 p.m.  
Eggs, cosmic or otherwise, must crack to fulfill their destinies. Some nourish, some come out and soar. The ones that never crack lie around and rot.

Whatever your destiny, you are far from alone as you face it and embrace it, dear Shria, for you are loved by friends, family members and that new someone in your life. May you come out and soar.
Copyright © 2006 Carol Martin.
All Rights Reserved.